Tuesday, August 29, 2006
The Excel Chronicles
Can’t Shake That Corporate Feeling
We diligently excelled in high school, enrolled in respectable colleges, to say the least. Pursued our careers, be it in law, finance, business, literary circles or the arts. Turned thirty, married, and finally reproduced. Some of us went back to work, others pulled off part-time positions, and others, for whatever reason, abandoned the civilized workplace to dedicate every fiber of our being to motherhood. I mean, really, can it be any other way when you’re home alone all day with an infant?
You’re engulfed in diapers, breast pumps, red and black toys, and if you’re smart, a bouncy seat and Baby Einstein video. All of sudden, you’re expected to be an expert in pediatric nutrition, children’s literature, suburban real-estate, family travel, automotive safety. You’re smart; you know it. Your degree and subsequent career success prove it. Maybe your bank account too. Then why do you feel so clueless?
How have we been trained to tackle unfamiliar situations? Research. We hit the books, websites, new mom’s groups. How to organize this vast array of new information? In an Excel spreadsheet. Obviously. And how to present it to your partner? In a Power Point presentation. I kid you not. This is how I handled motherhood. (Well, I didn’t have time to put a slide show together, but I organized my thoughts in my head one slide at a time.)
My best spreadsheets tackled the tricky subjects of the four food groups, paraphernalia you need when traveling with Baby, and what to buy when you’re expecting. These spreadsheets made the rounds of major cities via emails, from mom to mom, all of whom found this format to be a perfectly logical way to digest such information.
Hey, we weren’t trained for touchy-feely spit-uppy stuff. We’re cognitive thinkers, and damn it, we’ll make order of this baby stuff
Misplaced Mom now has progressed to creating spreadsheets that inventory her sons’ collection of Thomas the Tank Engine trains.
This piece appeared on 3.09.06 in Beantowners.
Can’t Shake That Corporate Feeling
We diligently excelled in high school, enrolled in respectable colleges, to say the least. Pursued our careers, be it in law, finance, business, literary circles or the arts. Turned thirty, married, and finally reproduced. Some of us went back to work, others pulled off part-time positions, and others, for whatever reason, abandoned the civilized workplace to dedicate every fiber of our being to motherhood. I mean, really, can it be any other way when you’re home alone all day with an infant?
You’re engulfed in diapers, breast pumps, red and black toys, and if you’re smart, a bouncy seat and Baby Einstein video. All of sudden, you’re expected to be an expert in pediatric nutrition, children’s literature, suburban real-estate, family travel, automotive safety. You’re smart; you know it. Your degree and subsequent career success prove it. Maybe your bank account too. Then why do you feel so clueless?
How have we been trained to tackle unfamiliar situations? Research. We hit the books, websites, new mom’s groups. How to organize this vast array of new information? In an Excel spreadsheet. Obviously. And how to present it to your partner? In a Power Point presentation. I kid you not. This is how I handled motherhood. (Well, I didn’t have time to put a slide show together, but I organized my thoughts in my head one slide at a time.)
My best spreadsheets tackled the tricky subjects of the four food groups, paraphernalia you need when traveling with Baby, and what to buy when you’re expecting. These spreadsheets made the rounds of major cities via emails, from mom to mom, all of whom found this format to be a perfectly logical way to digest such information.
Hey, we weren’t trained for touchy-feely spit-uppy stuff. We’re cognitive thinkers, and damn it, we’ll make order of this baby stuff
Misplaced Mom now has progressed to creating spreadsheets that inventory her sons’ collection of Thomas the Tank Engine trains.
This piece appeared on 3.09.06 in Beantowners.
# posted by Style Carrot @ 12:02 PM 
